Estuve Muerte : I Was Dead :: el Día de Muertos 2021

I spent the past 24 hours with my ancestors: skating and making a beat. One was successful both were really fun. We didn't sleep a lot.

OTWay Home brings me today – en el Dia de Muertos – to my apartment in Tongvataar (the Los Angeles Basin) in the Baldwin Village. I was with my family from August to October and now I find myself making home on my own. I wish I was better about calling fam but I hardly know how to process my own emotions, I get weird thinking about doing that with family; both the sweetest dream and a dense conversation my chest can't fathom. a n d y e t . . .

With b r e a t h e , the chest can return to a slow and divine mmmmmmmm, like a sweet yummmmmmmmm. Anyway, I was finally able to breathe and spend time with myself in the ways that used to make me want to get distracted. f e e l i n g.

As an artist I make art, so without further ado: The first demo from ESTUVE MUERTE:

Bittersweet to have left my immediate family in the MidWest but I'm excited to find new ways to share with them. Meanwhile, I try to find order in how I share with you...

check out what's on the short list.

ToDo:

1. Returning to LA: Emotional roller coaster that is touching down (w/ mindfulness tips)

2. counterstorytelling 101: breathing new life into the stories of our lives

   1. (subject+verb_object)

   2. What subjects have dominated

   3. We have all found our own multicultural mix of the

   1. The seed: love & storytelling 101

      1. (1 vid per chapter)

3. Native American Heritage Month

   1. Reflections on the Frontlines of the fight to protect the environment

   2. Native Leaders and movements we need to follow and uplift

   3. What decolonizing can we do now :: what visions do we dream about for the future

Mindfulness at HOME:

• If it exists I haven’t experienced it::

• The relationship with the wound (aka el vacío) has been present in most of my serious relationships :: in a similar way that I imagine you might connect with those you love/yourself

• My body is hypersensitive to my environment:: some might consider this empathic:: but I know it’s a defense mechanism (aka “subconscious social/emotional intelligence I’ve developed through life’s inherent traumas) to help me feel out the vibe and ride it out safely.

Dia De Muertos: I have no one to answer to but my ancestors. Yet why am I so scared to embrace myself in their presence; or is it that I feel so alone in their absence... blehhhhh. I Am excited to live the best life I possibly could for all of them